Stealth: The Other Side of Coming Out
11 October is International Coming Out Day 🏳️🌈
💔 For LGBQ+ people, coming out is usually a choice. For trans people, however, it is generally a necessary step: to access medical and legal assistance, to feel comfortable and, ultimately, to explain changes after starting transition.
🥷 That is why it is important for us to talk about the other side of coming out in the trans community: stealth.
🥸 What is stealth? Why do trans people need it? Who can live stealth? Read on!
Contents
What does stealth mean?
Stealth is a slang term for a trans person living without disclosing their trans status, while other people assume they are cisgender.
Although stealth is debated both within and outside the trans community, trans people often choose it for different reasons, individual and unique to each person.
Let’s look at the most common reasons trans people choose to live stealth.
Safety
The most common reason trans people choose not to speak openly about their trans status is fear of transphobia and hate crime.
This is a good moment to remember that, at the time of the original post, Ukraine still lacked legislation protecting LGBTIQ+ people from hate crime.
Stealth offers a chance to live without fearing that you will be exposed.
Reducing dysphoria
A less obvious reason for living stealth is wanting to have your identity affirmed without telling others about it.
Trans people may choose stealth to see whether their appearance is perceived in line with their gender identity, without having to explain that identity directly.
Social relief
Trans people living stealth often feel considerable relief at not having to explain their pronouns or identity every time.
People around them already assume they are cisgender, so there are no additional questions or clarifications. They do not have to become an “encyclopaedia of transness” for everyone around them yet again.
Who can live stealth?
Stealth is about trans people’s right to safety and comfort. At the same time, it is important to remember that stealth is a privilege far from accessible to every trans person.
A large part of the trans community cannot live stealth. This may include some:
- people without access to transition, or with medical contraindications to it;
- non-binary people;
- people who have not yet started transitioning, or have only recently started;
- trans people with atypical gender expression.
Ultimately, stealth lets trans people focus on their lives instead of constantly explaining and defending their identity.
Often, trans people have no choice: the world demands that we come out in order to be ourselves.
Stealth is a way to survive in a world that still demands “coming out” instead of equality.